Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
