thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
