Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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