he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Randomize
