Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I need to sanitize my soul.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
