...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize