I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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