Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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