2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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