It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
