I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Randomize
