How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize
