The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
The ass gains better be worth it
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
