She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
