I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
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