I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I just found puke in my bra..
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
