The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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