I wannas sexs uuuuu
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
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