Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
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