i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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