i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
