My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
