I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
i dont even know how to be here
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
