I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
