Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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