ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize