it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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