im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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