What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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