my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Randomize
