So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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