Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
