Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
