So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize
