ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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