Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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