my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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