North Korea, Best Korea!
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
My dad is sitting where you rode me
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
