Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Randomize
