so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I still have a little drunk in my system
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
