What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Are we still banned from the library?
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
