I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
