She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
