mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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