I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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