the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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