I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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