his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
We're too hungover to prance.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
