I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
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