Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
