They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
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