I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
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