Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
