Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I am one with the molecules
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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