I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Randomize
