the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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