haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Randomize
