to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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