He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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