Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
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