Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
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