why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
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