I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
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