I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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