Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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