You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
i love accidental penises.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
i drank out of a bidet.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize